“Nobody Cares.”
No, I don’t mean nobody cares about you. I mean nobody cares about you the way YOU care about you. Especially within our own bodies.
Physical Fitness journeys can look and feel incredibly different from person to person. We are constantly comparing ourselves to what we see in the world around us and what’s in our faces daily on social media. However, we aren’t all built equally and that is a hard concept to remember when we are constantly comparing and expected to live up to what we view as “fit.” And I think it’s safe to say that most of us don't look in the mirror and see ourselves as that.
Whether you’ve been on a fitness journey, or you’re just starting out, it’s time to get really honest with yourself. When is the last time you felt like your efforts were actually working? If you’re someone who has made linear progress throughout your entire journey, give yourself a pat on the back, because most people I know and have talked to have been stuck in the same routine (or end up going back to it), in the same body (STILL not where they want to be) and in the same plateau for years.
Now, I’m not claiming to know everything-trust me; I am far from it. This is something that I find I have to continually work on for myself because, I too, am aiming to be better. It’s just taken me this long, at 39 years of age, to get real with myself and address the deep struggle that I’ve avoided for years. As a matter of fact, there’s a few that I’ve put off for a long time. And if you’re anything like me, TIRED of never seeing results or getting anywhere despite your efforts, it’s time to address reality and ask yourself what you’re truly willing to do about it.
Fitness Isn’t Just Physical
Fitness is more than looking in the mirror and seeing a six pack. Majority of us will never even know what that feels like. I used to compare myself to literally any woman with a flat stomach, toned muscles and think “she must get tired of eating salads.” So, when I took it upon myself to clean up my diet, I too ate salads.. Fruit.. Veggies... water... and I was still starving. I’d get on these kicks of repeating this cycle only to get extremely frustrated a few days, maybe even a week in, and find myself saying “screw it,” because I got so hungry that I’d end up overeating, binging on sweets or salty snacks, and having that glass of wine that everyone tells you to give up if you want to be “fit.” I wasn’t making any progress despite trying to cut calories down and running every day to lose weight. Quite frankly, it was exhausting. My body felt like it should be rock solid, but the mirror was s sad place for me and I spent many days hating myself wondering why it seemed so easy for everyone else to get fit when I felt like I worked ten times harder in the gym than anyone.
Then I thought, “it must be genetics.” I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism right after my firstborn. I was still able to stay consistently active, enjoyed jogging, ate my little “healthy” snacks and felt like my metabolism still allowed me to stay thin... until it didn't. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t overweight by any means, but I still was having a hard time trying to achieve the look I had always wanted. I had muscle, but I wanted the muscles that “pop.” I always looked softer than I wanted to. I felt like I looked kind of athletic, but kind of like I enjoyed doughnuts at the same time (and there were times when I did—but I TOLD myself I didn't do that often enough to make a difference).
Fast forward to having two more kids and being a busy Mom, I did my best to cook healthy dinners, but there were more than a few late nights when McDonald’s, Firehouse Subs, Chinese Takeout or Chipotle were the go-to because we were stuck in the routine of running around all afternoon picking kids up from school, getting to and from soccer practice, working out sometime in the afternoon/ evenings when we could squeeze it in and it was flat out exhausting. I didn’t have the time to cook but I was tired, had to get the kids to do their homework, get showers and get them to bed. I’m also not proud to say that many of those nights, my kids weren’t getting to bed until 10pm or later—only to get up the next morning and repeat the cycle. At the time, I didn’t think there was much wrong with that routine (outside of very tired kids). After all, we were still eating MOSTLY healthy and working out....
I Have Goals.... Kind Of...
I never understood the purpose of setting goals. It was kind of stupid in my opinion. Yes, I wanted to LOOK like I worked out, but I knew if I just continued to work out, I would eventually look that way, right? I mean, I had been working out for years, but maybe if I just worked a little bit harder, my body would catch up. Or maybe it was just not meant to be because of my thyroid problem. After all, a slow metabolism doesn’t help so that’s likely the issue. (Writing this all out makes me want to go back and shake myself so hard.)
Things I Never Admitted to Myself
I have always been active. I’ve always loved working out. This is something I fell in love with at an early age. However, everything I thought I knew about what was a healthy habit, what was good for me to incorporate into my gym routine and looking back at the time when my kids were younger... there are SO MANY things wrong with the entire setup. I had no clue. I knew I wasn’t perfect, but nobody is ever truly perfect so I just went with that.
I had ZERO discipline.
I had ZERO goals in mind.
I had ZERO consistent schedule.
I honestly had ZERO clue that I was working against myself for so many years.
I was so unhappy with myself at one point after having my third child that I literally wanted to give up working out altogether. I was tired, I was the heaviest I had ever been (193lbs), I hated myself and I hated the idea of trying to look fit when I only ever felt soft and fat. I cried more times than I care to admit. I felt hopeless and defeated, because... by this point, I had been working out hard again for approximately six months once my youngest was a year old. In addition to my time in the weight room, I was doing Spin classes, sprints on the treadmill, and any kind of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) I could do on various cardio machines in an attempt to lose weight and regain myself and my confidence. Nothing worked. I had been eating clean, home cooked meals, yet, I had only lost a total of four pounds in six months. Something had to give.
What Gives?
Peptides. I was ashamed to even consider it, but by this time, GLP-1 was something that sounded like the very miracle I prayed for. People can say what they want, but until they’ve been stuck and doing everything and anything they could to lose weight, when nothing else works to give you your life back, peptides were the answer and the very tool I needed at that time in my life.
I started on Semaglutide. I lost weight over the period of the next several months. But, despite lifting weights and continuing to try eating healthy, I also lost strength and muscle that I had worked so hard to build. My appetite had decreased, which wasn't a bad thing, but I wasn’t eating enough to support what I was doing in the gym. I remember fasting every morning, working out, doing my HIIT cardio at the end of my weight training session, and I felt so good. Flat, but good. I thought maybe I just had so much fat to lose that I truly didn't have as much muscle as I thought, however, in hindsight, getting weaker was a huge sign that I wasn't eating enough to support muscle growth. So, yes, the weight came off and I dropped from 185lbs down to 138lbs, but I then kind of felt “skinny fat” and weak. I also lost a lot of hair, which is a side effect of not eating enough and losing weight rapidly. I wasn’t unhappy, but I felt like I STILL wasn't where I wanted to be. So, it was time to get off of the peptide, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of weight rebound.
I gained. Not a lot, but I definitely had an increase in appetite and, on a good note, strength in the gym returned! I also felt like the cravings returned, too. One good thing about GLPs is that they eliminate cravings so sugar and alcohol, two of the biggest culprits to inflammation and weight gain, were not an issue while I was using GLP-1. I didn’t want either of them, but when I stopped taking the peptide, I definitely had the return of sugar cravings. I didn’t ignore them, but I tried not to overindulge in them. The late-night snacking is where I can easily fall into a rabbit hole, so I often have to sip on a protein shake or just go to bed to avoid making that mistake.
A few months went by and I was missing the way I felt on GLP-1, but I was still trying to gain muscle and keep my hair (and NOT have to run to the bathroom after every meal—also a side effect of Semaglutide). That being said, I was told about Tirzepatide, which is another form of GLP that works on two hormone pathways instead of one. Even though it’s a stronger appetite suppressant than Semaglutide, I maintained a low dose to help me keep my appetite and cravings at bay while also allowing me to try to add muscle back to my body. I’ve actually been on it for several months and recently transitioned off of it because I am not actively trying to “lose weight,” but recomp. my body (add more muscle while simultaneously shedding fat- so maintaining my current weight... with a twist). I do love the way GLPs help with inflammation in the joints and help to keep stomach bloating at bay, however, I also wanted to give my body a chance to show me what it can do on it’s own.
Macronutrient tracking has been huge for me over the last several months. I’ve done it in the past, but I’ve yo-yo'd with it and never tried so hard to stick to it for any length of time. As soon as I’d stop tracking my food in the past, I’d almost instantly fall right back into the same way of eating and gain weight back that I was working to lose. Weight loss never seemed permanent for me.. It was always a challenge for me to not gain it back and somehow, it always managed to find me. For that reason, I don’t plan to stop tracking my food or stop eating the right kind of fuel for my body to thrive. All of the habits I’ve adopted here in the last six months are habits worth sticking to and those necessary for change. My body has never responded to anything the way it has to my current habits. The changes aren’t significant and they’re not happening overnight, but they’re noticeable enough for my family to tell me that I’ve never had the muscle definition that I have now... and that means something to me. And I see it!
The Truth About Fitness
Physical fitness isn’t about what’s in the mirror. It’s 1000% about how you’re training and fueling your body from the inside out. It’s almost embarassing that these truths have taken me so long to figure out, but the most important part of this is that I am human and we often learn as we grow. We never stop learning and with so much information available at our fingertips, it’s hard to know what's true versus what isn’t. It’s hard to admit when we’re wrong when we feel like we’re doing everything right based on what other people do. But I am here to tell you, what might be working for others (or what they “claim” works), might not work the same for you. With that being said, you have to get very real with yourself about what you ask of your body and what you’re willing to give it to make real changes.
This wasn’t just an article about doing HIIT, or jogging till you fall over. This wasn’t about eating “mostly good,” and then allowing yourself to slack off on the weekends or spiral out of control in a pantry binge a few nights a week. This wasn’t about using peptides alone to reach your goals. What I’ve shared with you here today is my journey and it’s far from a perfect one and far from over for me. This was a lot of trial and error, a lot of sweat, tears and frustration. A lot of taking the time to research exercise, food and learning to track what I’m eating... effectively. A lot of realizing that pushing myself too hard was actually working against me. A lot of patience over everything else because, let’s face it, in today’s world, we want convenience, we want ease and we want it immediately. But the absolute truth is... it doesn’t happen that way.
Fitness journeys are messy. They’re not a one size fits all. They’re different for everyone, every single body, every single mind, every single individual. Your journey will not look like mine. But if there are some truths I can share with you... I am going to put them here:
Be consistent with your health and habits! Consistency will take you further even though changes can be slow. It is SO worth the wait. Don’t give up after 6 weeks, 6 months or even 6 years. Change is change and good things come to those who are consistent... not perfect. Consistent!
Working out harder in the gym won’t get you the results you’re seeking. Working out with intention will. Your body responds to progressive overload, meaning you never stop challenging your muscles to grow. Progressive overload can look like heavier weight, more reps, more sets, or a harder variation of a certain exercise.
Fuel your body with the proper foods (whole foods, nutrient dense foods) and your body will start responding the way you want it to. You will learn what you can handle, what your gut doesn’t like and what your portion sizes should look like (read labels). We often overeat, even if it’s healthy because we’ve grown accustomed to eating until we’re full instead of eating simply to fuel. There’s a big difference.
Cut the crap. No more fast food, sugar, highly processed snacks and junk. Once you stop consuming these, inflammation throughout your body goes away and you will feel like a different person. You will noticeably see and feel a difference.
Get outside and get your steps in! Going on daily walks is so good for your mind and your body. This is one of the most effective ways to lose fat along with a healthy diet. Walks are good for clearing your mind and getting some vitamin D! Slowly increase your steps as it gets easier to reach your daily step goals.
Drink your water! Period. Add water flavors or lemon if you prefer some taste. This is also a great time to add some electrolytes (LMNT, Liquid IV, etc.) for hydration and can benefit and help balance your energy, exercise endurance and recovery.
Eat your protein! Prioritize protein at every meal, meaning, when you’re hungry or searching for something to eat, think of a lean protein source you’d like to consume as the main focus of that particular meal. This is why it’s a good idea to have chicken breast or ground turkey available (cook extra at dinner so you always have leftovers). Fish, eggs, lean ground beef, sirloin steak, filet mignon, tuna, salmon... These are all great sources of protein and can be made a variety of ways to your liking. Many seasonings are zero calories or very low in calories and are a great option for flavor. Using olive oil or avocado oil are also great (sprays are even better) to put on the meat before seasoning the meat and are full of “good fats” that the body can utilize.
Replace your favorite sauces with zero calorie/ low calorie versions. There’s plenty of zero calorie ketchups, BBQ Sauces, buffalo sauces, and everything in between. Just remember, the more calories you consume, even in sauces and beverages or oils used when you cook, the higher your total daily caloric intake climbs and this works against fat loss goals.
I hope this long article has helped you in one way or another. I hope your physical fitness journey, whether just beginning or not, is always changing to aim for the best version of yourself. Don’t forget to set goals and take intentional steps towards achieving your goals. Take the pictures (even though most of us hate doing that part), jump on the scale and get those measurements that you’re dreading. Trust me, if you’re serious about tackling your goals, you will be happy to have something to compare your progress to. In closing, remember, NOBODY CARES for you the way YOU care for yourself. Put yourself and your health on the forefront, you won’t regret it. Be strong, Be confident, B-WELL!
Sincerely,
Jana Boutwell
B-Well Training & Nutrition, LLC
